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Beforehand, my mother said to me: “Do you have time to get a fake tan?It’ll make you look way thinner.” Needless to say, I did not.In the end, the only thing that got me through the door was the need to prove a totally meaningless point – and the prospect of a large vodka inside.
“It’s going better than I expected,” he grinned with barely concealed jubilation.Boys on one side of the room, girls on the other, with barely repressed giggles and fear sweat in the air – the temperature was turned up to the max, presumably to make sure the women had something to look at when the men stood up.It was then that Rob informed us that, as predicted by my friends and family but strenuously denied by myself, the clothes would not be coming back on anytime soon. After all, in for a penny, in for a few extra Christmas pounds.But this stands out as one of the more publishable pieces of advice I received before I went naked speed dating.The latest in London’s saucy scenes, Date in a Dash have begun hosting nude events for ages 23 to 35, to shake up the dating scene, cut through the bulls*** and to reveal right off the bat who’s really attracted to who, and who’s sporting, say, an unfortunate butt tattoo.This is an unexpected and surprisingly delightful USP of Date in a Dash events: the organisers really get involved, going out of their way to talk to everyone and put them at ease. Leading me into the changing room, he tells me that before he got into the speed dating business, he was a police officer “with long hours and no job satisfaction” – but had always been entrepreneurial.“I started the business in 2011, when I went with a friend to a rival event and thought it was a good laugh and way to meet people, but not very well put together.“I wouldn’t do it in a million years.” Red rag to a bull, I’m afraid.Full disclosure: I am a 5”4, size 14 woman on the latter side of 25 with all the trimmings – cellulite, scars, bruises, chipped nail varnish and a rack that gave up the fight against gravity years ago.So this isn’t one of those #bodypositivity Instagram larks done by a part-time teenage model with an airbrush filter.In fact, trying to make a good impression on a total stranger while sweating from your inner thighs is about as #nofilter as it gets.