"You could make love in the front of that house on a Saturday night and nobody would ever see you," she volunteers with a notably nontheoretical air.
This is followed by a distinctive low, guttural laugh that seems character revealing—the sound of someone reveling in a healthy lust for life.
First, figure out whether he's actually cheating.
If he is, you have a different problem: what to do about your relationship.
"I never looked for a regular academic job," she says.
"I did not want to spend my life fighting over parking privileges, search committees, faculty meetings, the whole deal." As a graduate student and in her first years back in New York City, Fisher was involved in two serious relationships—it's easy to imagine that she, a blond, warm-eyed, playful woman who jogs several miles every morning in a very successful effort to stay trim and fit, was always a heartbreaker.But there are a couple of origin stories embedded here that begin to explain how and why Fisher became the preeminent authority on "the evolution and future of human sex, love, marriage, gender differences in the brain, and how your personality style shapes who you are and who you love," as her website distills it.She's an independent scholar affiliated with the Center for Human Evolutionary Studies in Rutgers University's anthropology department and a senior research fellow at Indiana University's famed Kinsey Institute.But if you find yourself snooping through your lover's pockets, or reading his e-mails on the sly, stop. Explain that you are working to control your suspicion but would like him to help you by not provoking it.And if you can't stop spying or obsessing (and many of us can't), it's time to consult a mental health professional.After graduation, she was sent on assignment by the American Museum of Natural History to live with a Navajo family in northern Arizona, and while out West she visited her sister, who'd moved to Boulder, Colorado.(Lorna became a painter and a professional hot-air balloon pilot—the first woman to navigate the Continental Divide in a basket.) Helen decided in undue haste to marry a Coloradan she met there; it was a disaster.Ultimately, though, you may never feel emotionally secure with a flirtatious mate—in which case you might consider some wisdom from Zen philosophy: The way out is through the door.ELLE."I grew up in a glass house designed by Eliot Noyes, right up the hill from Philip Johnson's glass house," says biological anthropologist Helen Fisher.I figured it out—and I walked out on him," she says. "From then on," Fisher says, "we continued to have a wonderful relationship, but it was no longer sexual. We spent every Christmas, every Thanksgiving—every holiday—together until he died. I'd talk to him five times a day." Their deep attachment survived Fisher's plunge into a "raging romance" with another man—even despite the fact, she says with a chuckle, that the two men couldn't stand each other.She nursed Carroll through his final illness in 2009.