If you prefer to date those who are attached to keep your own involvement at arm’s length, then you should have no qualm with the wife being aware of your intentions.
If you fall for someone who is taken and they feel the same, demand that they open up their relationship—otherwise, you won’t be a part of it.
Even if you don’t believe Freud, it’s hard to argue with the position that we all occasionally rely on such common forms of managing our most difficult feelings as pushing them out of awareness.
In close relationships, where your deepest emotions are often aroused, it’s even more likely that you’ll rely on your defenses to help you manage those emotions.
According to Zhang and Guo, researchers have moved well past Freud’s original position on defense mechanisms, and the concept is now an integral feature of such areas within psychology as cognition, emotion, personality, and development.
A well-known categorization of defense mechanisms by George Vaillant in 1994 differentiated between defenses, like humor and sublimation (turning your unconscious motives into productive activity).
Not only can you help your partner effectively manage these natural urges through counsel, but you can also create healthy alternatives in the event that the desire is too strong to curb.
Yes, the person who is not inclined to cheat must communicate clearly, otherwise you leave your partner to their vices.
The vice partner cannot possibly be expected to speak up. If they fuck around it’s because you failed to manage their urges with conversations!
So, I suggest some new rules that crush the fantasy in order to get to the heart of our human reality: Women who engage with married men: Don’t be anyone’s dirty secret.