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On average, yo-yo daters broke up two times within one year, according to study co-author Sarah Halpern-Meekin, Ph.
A strong connection with a romantic partner can be hard to shake because, to a certain extent, it's rooted in our brain chemistry. D., a professor of psychology at Concordia University in Canada, mated female rats with male rats he'd dabbed with a special scent.
Later, when he mixed the lady rats with both the familiar-scented males they'd already made sweet rodent love with and new unscented rats, 80 to 100 percent (in different trials) chose their familiar partners over the new dudes.
"I would imagine it's like quitting crack."It's no wonder researchers describe the on-and-off phenomenon as relationship churning.
Breaking up — and subsequently creating a shiny new Tinder profile and maybe throwing yourself into a restorative cardio-barre regimen — only to wake up next to your ex the next weekend can feel frustrating and depressing, like you're blocking yourself from moving forward.
More than half those on-and-off daters reported having sex with their ex post-breakup.
For most couples who rekindled the flame, it was an ongoing cycle. You’ve quit complaining about it to all of your friends. If you were sexually incompatible in the long-term – you had mismatched libidos, he had needs that you couldn’t or wouldn’t meet, she was poly and you couldn’t handle it – you’re going to be incompatible, even if the sex is great in the short term. well, convincing his victims that he’s changed is a prominent part of the cycle. You’re past the “hiding in your own apartment, listening to angry music and writing bad poetry” stage. Whatever doesn’t kill you better be willing to be friends with your ex, you’re finding yourself increasingly in contact with them. Whether the break up came like a bolt out of the blue or it was the end result of the long, slow, painful death of a relationship, most relationships end for a reason and more often than not, those reasons then you can look forward to having the same fights.Chronically dating your ex has never been more common, she says — mainly because people are waiting longer to get married, "so we have more time to be in relationships in which we might break up and get back together." Plus, "we have more ambiguity in our relationships today." In the past, you were either dating or broken up.Now, thanks to a culture that's more accepting of casual sex, breaking up is a slippery slope that can lead to ex sex, a friends-with-benefits situation, or a full-on round two in your relationship."I gave him a trial period, and he proved that he really cared about me," she said, including supporting her during her mom's bout with cancer.They're planning on moving in together soon."When we broke up, I told him I wanted a guy who was sure of himself," she said.So when you find a real bond with someone, it's hard as hell to let go.Halpern-Meekin confirms that many couples who reunited were more likely to feel they'd "revealed their deepest self" to each other.But "if you re-experience the same disappointment and hurt, it's a sign this person is not an ideal partner."Although Gabrielle's boomerang relationship had its downsides, she doesn't regret it, because "it made me realize that I didn't want the in-between relationship anymore," she says."I wanted the great sex and also someone who loved and supported me." When she found both with a great new guy (who's now her boyfriend), it was a wake-up call. Not all breakups and make-ups end in disaster — sometimes it's just a matter of both members of the couple getting on the same page at the same time.