“I love having someone that truly supports me in everything I do.”Far from discovering that marriage to the right woman completes them, like the cherry on top of life’s sundae, the guys I spoke to found that marriage actually challenges them—and they love that.“Perhaps the best part about being married is thinking about how much worse off I would be without my wife,” Jake says.
“The sacrifice and self-giving of marriage, the intense friendship, the pains and struggles, the ability to share your life with just one person—these have all made me a better person.”But it’s not necessarily that in marriage, men are constantly given the opportunity to sweep their wives off their feet in some awe-inspiring gesture of heroism.
This response was far and away the most popular amongst the responses from men.
Four out of the six men I polled said that companionship was the absolute best thing about married life.“It’s about having someone next to you who’s vowed to face anything and everything life can throw at you and support you every step of the way,” Chris says.“I love having the companionship,” Joe says, “[and] always being able to have your best friend to hang out with.”I have to say, I was surprised that so many of these newlywed guys listed companionship as the best thing about being married.
All you can do is trust your gut and don’t second guess yourself every step of the way.
Dating a newly married man
For many people, the best part of attending a wedding ceremony is watching the groom’s face when he sees his future wife walk down the aisle.You had too much going on during your divorce to possibly consider dating. This same script, I’m reminded, played out in the life of one of my favorite clients who fell in love with a separated man.Therefore, you seem to think all men should feel the same way. But you are correct in proceeding with a sense of caution. Not because he listed himself as divorced but is really separated. He gave a lot to her during their time together, but, when it got right down to it, he really needed to sow his oats for awhile.No—whether it came as a surprise to them after their wedding or not, these guys found that the best thing about married life was the friendship and sacrifice.I don’t know about you, but this makes me even more excited for the new batch of husbands-to-be waiting for their brides in front of altars everywhere this summer.Currently, I am using online dating to meet new prospects, though I choose not to date anyone who is going through divorce.I am divorced and have been for two years and am of the opinion that there is too much other stuff going on in one’s life during a divorce to date, as well.Also, it seems that about 40% of the men who state they are divorced are actually still going through the process. That stated, I have come up to some heavy objection from both family and friends – hence I’m here.They have given many examples of relationships that began quickly after a separation/break-up, so I am beginning to wonder if I am selling myself short – being too rigid.Any advice would be wonderful- thanks in advance for your response!Dear Sara, We all make judgments based on our own experience.