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When I say no to one idea, he comes up with another one. Boyfriend Into Group Sex I'm Not Short answer: Sexual compatibility is important.

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Being with you means giving up this fantasy, BIGSIN, and if he's not willing to give it up—and to shut up about it—then you'll have to break up.Follow Jon Ronson on Twitter @jonronson, read all of his books (So You've Been Publicly Shamed?is urgently required reading for anyone who spends time online), and check out his amazing podcast, The Butterfly Effect. My boyfriend of 1.5 years shared (several months into dating) that he has a fantasy of having a threesome.He's kind and sweet, caring and giving, and his penis is divine. The only time I see him really "feel" is when he's high, which he is semi-frequently.The thing is, he confessed to me recently that he doesn't really "feel." The way he explained it is, the only emotions he feels are fear and anxiousness that he'll disappoint the people he cares about. He uses MDMA and he comes alive—he seems the way a "normal" person does when they're in love.All those emotions that relate to an overactive amygdala—fear, remorse, guilt, regret, empathy—psychopaths don't feel them." So your boyfriend's not a psychopath. The urge to be sweet to them, to take care of them, to do for them?Maybe he's just going through the motions with you—a conscious mimic-it-till-you-make it strategy—or maybe the double whammy of a damaged dad and that toxic masculinity stuff sloshing around out there left him blocked, LOVE, or emotionally constipated.He found a place that did "sensual" couples massage. During sex, he talks about the idea of someone else being around.This does turn me on and I like thinking about it when we are messing around. I'm like a mashup of Jessica Day, Leslie Knope, and Liz Lemon if that gives you an idea of how not-for-me this all is.I told him I wasn't interested in doing anything for real.A few months later, we went on vacation and I said I wanted to get a massage.


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